Two weeks ago I had a very dark depressive episode and the only one who was willing to journey into the shadowy recesses of my mind in an attempt to bring me back to earth was my mother. She was there for me, just listening while the toxic venom that is depression poured out of my mouth and into her ears. When everyone wrote me off as being lost, when people were afraid to come near me because they didn’t know what to say, she was there, reassuring me that my friends were still my friends, that I was still loved, that I wasn’t alone.
Now that I am thinking with a clear head I realize that this is the role of the mother. She is the one who would move heaven and earth to find you, she would journey to the underworld to bring you home, she wouldn’t rest until you were back with her, if you were lost…if you were gone. My mother is Demeter while I am Persephone and for her spring does not come unless I am here walking among the living. When I have descended into darkness, Queen of the Underworld once again, she waits knowing that I will always return to her and not resting, never resting until I do.
Today is Mother’s Day and I am grateful that my mother is still with me; I’m grateful that she’s still here and that her love for me is so deep and so unconditional that she would never abandon me, not even at my darkest. Even when I have a hard day I’ll still say aloud to anyone or no one, “I want my mom.”
But there are those of us whose mother is no longer available as a source of nurturing and comfort whether they have transcended this world or whether they simply aren’t present. To those people I would like to say this: A mother is anyone who would be willing to follow you into the dark just to hold your hand and wait with you until you are ready to return to the light. A mother is someone who loves you as deeply as they are capable of loving, someone who teaches you and guides you, someone who accepts you unconditionally for all that you are even if there are parts of you that are gruesome and messy.
Death does not stop the mother for her energy which has been sprinkled back into the stars is still with you as Demeter was always with Persephone; and sometimes you must take that energy and use it to mother yourself, to be kind and to love yourself as no one could love you. That is the magic of mothers: a love so strong that words or thoughts could not describe or comprehend the magnitude. A love this intense can only be felt and when the physical body of your mother is not in your life you must take into yourself the love of the universe, of the earth, as mother to us all and breathe in her magic to quell your pain if only for a little while.
I know you’ve read them. The articles that say that life is too short so you should leave your day job, the job you hate, to go seek adventure and live out your feckless fantasies. I know you’ve read them because I’ve read them and I can’t speak for you but I have, as a result, judged myself. I NEED my day job to pay my bills and put food on the table and even with it I’m barely scraping by. These are tough times for employment so I’m grateful to have a full time job with benefits. That is exactly what those articles are lacking: gratitude.
DO NOT QUIT YOUR DAY JOB if you have nothing else to fall back on. Do not trust the universe to provide you with a way to survive because the universe expects you to create a way to survive for yourself. You are magical, you are beautiful and you are special, even if your day job is not. Express gratitude for all that you have, think of all of the opportunities that the skill set you use for your current job creates for prospective jobs. Do one thing each day that will bring you one step closer to where you want to be: submit your resume and cast an employment spell, do yoga and breathe in new opportunities while exhaling that which no longer serves, network- go to networking events in your town or city, create a website/Etsy store/blog to market yourself…there are so many ways to wreak magical havoc on your job/career search and manifest the shit out of new opportunities. It was true when people told your child self that you can be whatever you want to be.
So on this dreary Monday Morning I want you to know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be at this very moment! Breathe in the magic of simply existing right now, here on earth, in human form. Smile at all of the wonder and whimsy that rests at your finger tips and go out there and seize the day!
“Witch Bitch” is one of the main ways in which I identify myself. For me, reclaiming the words “witch” and “bitch” are representative of me reclaiming my power; taking titles that were given to women in an attempt to hurt and control them and turning them into an act of ferocious rebellion. Referring to myself as a witch bitch is telling the world that I take pride in all of the aspects of myself, even the aspects that are considered unsavory by the masses. So here are some ways to honor and empower your own inner Witch Bitch and create a life of magic and mayhem.
- Be Assertive: Society has conditioned women to be “ladies,” to be polite, to smile and laugh often and to never show any emotion that could be classified as “negative.” Being passionate, asking for what you want, openly showing your disagreement with situations, using your voice to make a difference…these are the traits of a Witch Bitch. There are ways to speak your truth that do not involve idle threats, violence and insults (that’s aggression). Firmly telling people what you need in order to be successful and asking that they work with you to bring things into fruition is assertiveness.
- Find Comfort in Your Own Skin: Witch Bitches take pride in how fabulous they are. I’m not just talking about aesthetics, I’m talking about the essence of a person, the fire that burns in their belly and lights up their eyes. No matter how you look or what you believe find enough courage to love the shit out of yourself because it is a fact that we are composed of exploded stars and collapsed universes…how fucking fierce is that?
- Honor the Divine Feminine: Witch Bitches do not backstab; they are secure enough in their own magic, in the beauty of their own lives that they do no wish to bring harm or pain to other women. Witch Bitches lift their sisters up, they help to heal women who have asked them for healing, they lend a shoulder to cry on, an ear for venting and gentle hands for holding hair back when the nights get rough. Witch Bitches know that betrayal has a way of showing itself and making an ugly mess out of relationships and we are firm believers in the old adage “You reap what you sow.”
- DO NOT Give the Haters Your Power: When you let someone get under your skin, when you let the negative energy of others lessen your shine, you are giving away your power. DO NOT give away your power. You are the only one who has control over your life and where your thoughts go your energy flows…don’t let your thoughts dwell even for a second on someone else’s piss poor attitude.
- Love. : Witch Bitches are not afraid to love, they are not afraid to embrace change or explore new ideas. Witch Bitches are not afraid to learn different ways of experiencing the world, they are not afraid to love everyone and everything enthusiastically and openly. If there is nothing else that you do, let love set your soul on fire.
- Do Whatever the Fuck You Want!: Don’t ask permission. Trust your instincts. Revel in you power and in the awesomeness of your existence. Make magic every day.